Everyone has fears. Some of them are very common, like spiders, heights, needles, or small spaces. Others might be unique to you. Some people find their fears interfere in their day-to-day lives. For example, you might not do certain activities to avoid the thing that frightens you.
Whatever it is that makes you feel afraid, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your day-to-day fears and anxieties.
These tips are for people who are coping with everyday fears.
1. Take time out
It’s difficult to think clearly when you feel scared or anxious. If you can, take time out to physically calm down.
Try and get away from what’s upsetting you. For example, you could do another activity for 15 minutes.
2. Breathe through panic
If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweaty palms, try not to fight it. Stay where you are and let yourself feel the fear, even though it will be uncomfortable.
Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply.
The aim is to get your mind get used to coping with panic, which takes away the fear of feeling panicky.
Steps for Stress: Breathing and relaxation playlist
The Steps for Stress breathing and relaxation playlist is an audio guide. It aims to help you control stress and understand where it comes from.
The first two tracks will help you understand more about how and why breathing exercises work. You should listen to them first so you get the most out of the breathing exercises.
3. Face your fears
Avoiding fears only makes them worse. But, gradually exposing yourself to the thing you’re scared of can help you maintain control and overcome your fear.
If you face your fear you might find that it isn’t as scary as you thought. For example, if you panic getting into a lift one day, it’s best to get back into a lift the next day.
4. Remember that anxiety isn’t harmful
Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming. You may worry that the signs of anxiety and panic, like a fast heartbeat, are signs of a serious health problem.
These concerns can make anxiety and fear worse. So, it’s important to remember that your body’s response to fear is normal. It’s designed to protect you from danger.
If you feel worried about your health, speak to your GP practice.
5. Challenge unhelpful thoughts
It can sometimes help to challenge unhelpful thoughts. If you ask yourself the right questions, you can show yourself there isn’t anything to worry about.
For example, if you’re scared of getting trapped in a lift, you could ask yourself questions like:
- “Have you ever heard of someone getting trapped in a lift?”
- “Does the lift look broken?”
- “Is there any reason to think that if I did get stuck, help would take a long time to arrive?”
6. Don’t try to be perfect
Many people struggle with ‘must’ or ‘should’ thoughts. This means they believe in thoughts like life should be perfect, that they should always be calm and that strong people never struggle.
Thinking this way causes more fear and anxiety in the long run. So, remember that life is messy and you don’t have to be critical of yourself all the time.
7. Visualise a happy place
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It could be a picture of:
- you walking on a beautiful beach
- you snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you
- a happy memory from childhood
Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Talk about it
Sharing your fears can make them less scary. Try talking to someone about what you’re feeling. You could also call a helpline like:
- Breathing Space – phone 0800 83 85 87 (available from 6pm Friday to 6am Monday, and 6pm to 2am Monday to Thursday)
- Samaritans – phone 116 123 (available 24 hours a day)
9. Take care of yourself
Living a healthier lifestyle can be very helpful for your mental wellbeing. If you feel healthier, you may find you feel less afraid and anxious.
It’s also a good idea to avoid unhealthy habits. Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to try to reduce their anxiety, but these things only make it worse.
10. Reward yourself
Finally, give yourself a treat when you achieve something despite being afraid. You could:
- treat yourself to a massage
- have a meal out
- buy a new book or another little gift that makes you happy
- watch a film
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