Introduction
Julia always looks up tennis sports research and likes to borrows some ideas to help herself.
So she chooses to study "How To Overcome The Fear Of Losing In Tennis" first, and then study "Tennis in the Zone".
Julia likes to solve a problem less seriously using sports research. Millions people like to be top players as a software programmer, Julia has to learn one more step to beat others, that is a mental game.
Study
Julia likes to learn some new terms and new wisdom through the sports coaching.
Fear Of Losing And Present Consequences
The negative consequences - your subconscious
You think that you are afraid of losing a match, when you are actually afraid of the consequences of losing a match.
(Julia, please separate losing a match vs the consequences of losing a match)
How can you solve this mind puzzle?
Fear of losing and present consequences
Really get into the story of losing a match and how your worst fears come true, like your friends make fun of you, your opponents ridicule you in the locker room, you lose rankings, and so on.
And then you need to ask two things:
1. What is the probability of this actually happening?
2. If it happens, can I handle it? Will I survive? Will life go on?
The first and hardest step in this process is realizing that it is not you doing the thinking: it is the mind.
(Julia, sports coaching is fun. First, do one thing: Separate you and the mind first)
And it is you who must make a conscious choice whether to follow the thought or dismiss it as unrealistic and unhelpful in achieving your goals.
Losing a tennis match is most likely to be less painful. But you must completely accept the possible consequences if you want to be 100% focused and determined to reach your goal.
The mind can make you view these negative consequences as horrible so that you lose perspective of what "horrible" really is.
When you compare the suffering of these circumstances (blind or paralyzed, no food and shelter) to the suffering you's endure because you lost your #3 ranking and dropped to #7, you see the loss of this tennis match as something you can easily handle.
In other words, just get a realistic perspective on what feeling bad and suffering are.
Your goal is to be 100% sure that you want to play and that you accept the possibility of losing and the consequences that go along with losing. Only then will you be free to play unburdened.
(Julia, please memorize this sentence, like Bible verse.)
Only then will your mind support you and become your ally.
Julia, repeat, your mind support you and become your ally. Your ally is your mind. Julia, ask yourself, when you are nervous, who is your ally? your mind. How to make it one fragile to be a strong ally? take the consequence. Do you want to play unburdened? Yes, I do!
Losing a tennis match is most likely to be less painful. But you must completely accept the possible consequences if you want to be 100% focused and determined to reach your goal.
The mind can make you view these negative consequences as horrible so that you lose perspective of what "horrible" really is.
When you compare the suffering of these circumstances (blind or paralyzed, no food and shelter) to the suffering you's endure because you lost your #3 ranking and dropped to #7, you see the loss of this tennis match as something you can easily handle.
In other words, just get a realistic perspective on what feeling bad and suffering are.
Your goal is to be 100% sure that you want to play and that you accept the possibility of losing and the consequences that go along with losing. Only then will you be free to play unburdened.
(Julia, please memorize this sentence, like Bible verse.)
Only then will your mind support you and become your ally.
Julia, repeat, your mind support you and become your ally. Your ally is your mind. Julia, ask yourself, when you are nervous, who is your ally? your mind. How to make it one fragile to be a strong ally? take the consequence. Do you want to play unburdened? Yes, I do!
Read one more paragraph here:
As long as there is a tiny part of you not accepting the negative consequences of losing, you will be nervous and unable to fully concentrate on the match. In other words, some part of your mind will be pulling against you instead of with you in the direction of winning and going for it.
Julia, how tiny part of you not accepting? 1%, 0.01%, Julia thinks about the tiny part of you, how to related to myself in proper way? What to examine?
Subconscious pain associated with losing or missing a shot in the past.
This emotional pain stays in your subconscious (since it wasn't resolved), and now any similar event triggers fear of similar pain, which you will try to avoid.
In fact, one of the mind's main purpose is to protect us from pain. It does so by comparing current circumstances to past circumstances that led to pain.
But since you cannot just quit the tournament and you have consciously decided to play it, you mind is now split - you want to play and you don't want to play.
As long as there is a tiny part of you not accepting the negative consequences of losing, you will be nervous and unable to fully concentrate on the match. In other words, some part of your mind will be pulling against you instead of with you in the direction of winning and going for it.
Julia, how tiny part of you not accepting? 1%, 0.01%, Julia thinks about the tiny part of you, how to related to myself in proper way? What to examine?
Fear of Losing and Past Emotional Pain
Subconscious pain associated with losing or missing a shot in the past.
This emotional pain stays in your subconscious (since it wasn't resolved), and now any similar event triggers fear of similar pain, which you will try to avoid.
In fact, one of the mind's main purpose is to protect us from pain. It does so by comparing current circumstances to past circumstances that led to pain.
But since you cannot just quit the tournament and you have consciously decided to play it, you mind is now split - you want to play and you don't want to play.
Actionable Item
1. Come back to study again after study of "Tennis in the Zone".
2. Watch the videos:
tennis rank No.11, retired, Ana talk at Google about mind, training, etc.
3. Tennis professional Ana Iva talked about emotional management - anger.
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