Your Ultimate Guide To Saying “No” To People You Can’t Say “No” To

Here is the article.

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

Why you feel you can’t say no. They are your family. You grew up with these people, or married them, or raised them.

“Relatives are the people you love most dearly, and conversely are the ones who infuriate you with their incessant requests,” says Newman. “For complex reasons that have developed over the years, you don’t want to disappoint them or be faced with their disdain. To make matters worse, you may have convinced yourself that you’re supposed to be there for them, that it’s your job to help solve all their problems and keep the peace.”

Your family often knows your weaknesses and knows how to use them to wear you down.

What’s even worse is that your family often knows your weaknesses and knows how to use them to wear you down.

How to say no. This varies greatly by who in your family is requesting what, but the key is to be firm and honest. If someone wants your time and you can’t be there, tell them you can’t be and explain why. Be direct and stand your ground if they protest.

If someone wants your talent, but you just don’t have the time to help, a simple, “You can do that as well as I can,” works wonders for both nicely declining their request and boosting their confidence. You could also add, “I’ll tell you how.”

And if someone in your family is requesting a big favor of you, such as watching their kids, saying, “That’s a responsibility that makes me nervous,” will be enough to put them on track to looking for someone else.

And if you still have problems saying “no”, realize that doing so often benefits your relationship with your loved ones in the long run.

“Parents, children and partners present the supreme challenge in the quest to mark your boundaries and be more of a ‘no’ person,” says Newman. “You will begin to resent family members, no matter what their age or who they are, if you continue to bow to their every need and want.”